Disclaimer: The reflections below are my personal commentary on an article I was recently featured in, “Nobody wins when family fights: How advisors reduce conflict,” by Rob Burgess, published in Financial Planning on April 16, 2025. For the complete article, please click here.
When Rob Burgess approached me for his recent article, he was interested in how clear estate planning can prevent family conflict.
As the founder of RGA Investment Advisors, I’ve observed that family disputes rarely stem from financial calculations. I shared,
“In my experience, issues almost never arise from bad math. They come from unmet expectations, surprise decisions, or unequal treatment that wasn’t well explained.”
This communication-centered approach became a central theme in his piece.
Table of Contents
Communication Before Documentation
In our practice, we’ve found that integrating family members early in the process creates better outcomes:
“We encourage our clients to bring adult children into certain conversations early, not to share every detail, but to build alignment around values, intentions, and legacy goals.”
I explained to Rob.
I’ve witnessed the consequences when this doesn’t happen: families falling apart over wills that were technically sound but felt like bombshells because no one knew what was coming.
I shared with Rob how our firm once worked with a client whose previous advisor neglected estate planning entirely.
When the patriarch passed unexpectedly, he left behind a vague will and improperly titled assets.
“It took over a year to unwind, and it created a deep rift between siblings.”
I noted.
Fortunately, since then, we’ve helped the family rebuild structure and communication around legacy planning, and now they’ve come full circle with regular family meetings that we help facilitate.
Expert Perspectives
Rob’s article included valuable insights from other professionals that aligned with my experience:
Seth Eisenberg of the PAIRS Foundation emphasized that disputes arise from “unmet expectations and feeling left out of decisions that deeply impact their sense of identity or belonging” – echoing my view that communication matters most.
Mackenzie Richards of SK Wealth Management advocated for having difficult conversations “while they’re still above ground” – a practical approach that prevents confusion and resentment later.
A Family-First Approach
When families treat estate planning as a values conversation rather than simply dividing assets, they create both financial security and family harmony.
In my practice, I’ve found that the most successful estate plans are those where legal documents merely formalize conversations the family has already had.
As financial advisors, our role extends beyond drafting technically sound documents. We serve as facilitators who help families communicate their intentions clearly and compassionately.
By focusing on the human elements of estate planning—expectations, values, and relationships—we can help ensure that a family’s wealth strengthens their bonds rather than becoming the source of lasting conflict.
Disclaimer: This post reflects my personal insights and includes brief quotations that appeared in Financial Planning. To read the complete article with additional expert perspectives, please visit the original article on Financial Planning’s website.